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And my eyes. My eyes werelarge and dewy and filled with undeserved innocence. "Oh my god," Isaid in Lisa's voice (but somehow less strident, and more alluring)."Carl?" I heard my own voice coming from the living room."In here," I answered. A man who looked almost exactly like me (excepthe was a few pounds trimmer and a few days at the gym more muscular, andhis jaw was more square) came lumbering down the hall as if he hadn'tquit got used to his own legs. I assumed it was Lisa. I hoped it wasLisa. That would at least make the situation slightly less surreal.She (he?) looked at me, then looked into the mirror, then looked at meagain. "What happened?"I just stared at her and shook my head, not knowing. Then I thought ofsomething. "Wait, weren't there instructions?" I rushed back into theliving room and picked up the tiny slip of paper, still sitting on thecarpet."Congratulations, Carl and Lisa, on your purchase of For Him and Herpleasure potion," I read aloud. "Please read. Fir hum upar hi baith gye aur Peeni start ki uska first time tha isiliye maine light peg banayaNeha: chii ye to bahut kadwi hMe: meri jaan hum hi jaante h hum isse kaise peete h( then we started laughing and start drinking)Hum 3-3 peg pi chuke the aur usko thida asar bhi lag rha thaNeha: yr mera sir ghum rha h, kya cheez h ye, par majje aa rhe h Fir hum aise hi thodi baat kar rhe theNeha: acha suno mujhe hug karo na please ek bar Me: kyu kya hua Neha: kuch nhi , karo na ek bar( i hugged her for like 4-5 sec)Neha: kahi jaana hMe: nhiNeha: to dhang se to karteMe: tujhe chad gyi isliye aisa bol rhi hNeha: hug karne k liye hi to kaha tha kiss k liye thodi kaha tha he to normal hota h Me: vo bhi bol deti to vo bhi kar detaNeha: acha kyu tum mujhe kiss karna nhi chahte jo m bolungi to hi karogeMe: na matlab haan ab moka mile to kon chodegaNeha: acha pehle din se nazar tikaye hue the mujhpar aur moke ka hi intzaar kar rhe the jaise( fir humne aise hi thodi baat Ki)Me: chal niche chalte h.
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‘What a nice change of pace,’ thought Leah ‘maybe he’s better than I set out to snag tonight…’ Her chicken fingers and fries came, and Leah began to eat with her knife and fork. After a moment of silence she looked up and saw Dave looking at her with a bemused expression on his face. ‘They’re called chicken fingers for a reason, darling.’ She glared at him, mostly light-heartedly, and he beamed a smile at her. Dave looked down at his plate and was fairly obviously trying to figure out how to eat his dinner … not everyone can dip steak fries into ketchup with a fork. Leah waited, chewing slowly, wondering what he would do. She smiled to herself and continued to eat after he picked up his utensils and started cutting into his burger. ‘Diner burgers can be considered a more advanced course, if you’d like to start with the basics instead…’ Leah teased. Dave was concentrating. ‘No, I got it, I’m good. What’s the deal with you and hands anyway?’ ‘Well,’ Leah began, she’d never really.

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